A church thriving through the ‘tension between certainty and ambiguity’

This article was written by journalist student Zay Arguelles. I thank her for taking such care in getting it right and for letting me share her writing.



The banner in front of the Unity Church in Upper Street is sure to catch every passer-by’s attention. “Heathens and heretics welcome!”, it says in big bold letters. This phrase is not something normally associated with a church, if at all. But then, churches don’t normally have an atheist minister.

Rev. Andrew Pakula is from America and he came here six years ago to head the Unitarian churches in Upper Street and Newington Green. He earned a PhD in Biology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and joined the biotechnology industry. Eventually, he left his career as a scientist to pursue a ministerial vocation. Nonetheless, he remained an atheist and even anti-religious in some ways.

A common way of dividing the world is into the religious and the atheist. Here arises the conflict between Rev. Andy’s stance about faith and religion and his job. It is intriguing or rather confusing because of the whole baggage of stereotypes associated with religion. On the contrary, he said that the word religion can mean a bunch of different things and “Depending on how you use that and what you consider to be a religion, it can be quite different.”

When you look at the fundamental core of Unitarianism the fog of confusion starts to evaporate. Rev. Andy said, “I call it a ‘way’. Let’s call it a way. It’s not ‘We are all going to believe the same thing’. It’s about moving together, growing together, working together and making ourselves grow and the world more whole”. It’s clear that the emphasis of Unitarianism lies on being a better person, being in a community and making a better world without the dogma.

As it seems, Unitarians are encouraged to ‘believe what they want to believe’ but Rev. Andy differs. He argued that this is very different from ‘believing what your search or journey leads you to believe’, which is what they do. He explained further by saying “Personally, I want to believe in all-powerful supernatural being that will take care of all of us. I really do! I would love to believe that. That is what I want to believe but it is NOT what I can believe. What my search has lead me to believe is that everyone is sacred, that we are all connected and that we’re here to make each other more whole and happier. That’s were a search has led me to and it might change.”

Just like any other institutions, Unitarianism doesn’t go without criticisms. Many people say that this kind of open-minded religion is not sufficient for people who are really suffering. In response, Rev. Andy said he doesn’t mind other beliefs. “Even if I don’t think it’s true, I think any belief is fine as long as it encourages you to be kind, loving and compassionate.” Certainly, it has also been criticised for being too open - “Whenever you are not a doctrinaire... If there is any flexibility, they will say ‘Well, that’s too flexible’. ” This isn’t a problem for them though, as they identify Unitarianism to be in the grey area in the first place.

With this kind of openness, a lot of barriers and differences can exist. The minister admitted that when he does a service he always tries to use languages which are inclusive to all sorts of beliefs. He said there’s a range of people within the congregation but since they’re all rather open-minded it’s really hard for them to have conflicts.

As he tries to explain how the congregation works for very different people, he grabbed a box of power cord beside him and said “There are people who receive a package and the first thing they do is read the instruction from the first letter to the last letter and maybe read it twice. And other people just plug it in.” He then continued about how they created “a thing with very open sort of steps” – “Decide for yourself how you’re going to be a compassionate consumer, write it down, and commit to it.”

Although very different from the traditional types of religion, Unitarianism remains attached to a certain label or ‘ism’ and that comes as a challenge. Rev. Andy recognises that it is very hard to be associated with the stereotypes, especially in this country “where a lot of people want nothing to do with anything that looks, smells, or tastes like religion.” On the other hand, people need categories to think about things and Unitarianism is commonly dropped on the religious category because what else would you call it or how else would you present it? It cannot be avoided but he also doesn’t mind. In the end, he doesn’t care whether they are called a religion or not – “If people don’t want to call it religion because, by their definition, religion has to have central beliefs, then fine... It’s not a religion. I don’t care. It’s a way of being.”

With the Unitarians’ position between the religious and secular sphere, he said that “It’s very comfortable for me to remember that things are changing and we’re always midstream, somewhere. We are in the process of changing from one thing to another and we don’t know what that other thing is yet or how the world is going to change around us. What we do is stay with it, ride with it, recognise the ambiguity and keep going.”

We live in a society where everything is polarized and it is easier to identify things as black or white. But in reality, the world we live in is very much within the grey scale. There is no one truth and certainly nobody holds a monopoly on what it is. Unitarianism reflects that fact and allows individuals to live in harmonious disagreement within a community with a system that supports them into becoming the best person they can be. In the advent of increasing religious scepticism and secularism, it is indispensable that such institutions exist. Whether it comes in the form of Unitarianism or not, it’s good to know that it is there for those who need it.

U+ A Unitarian way of life

Please note that a few changes and updates have been made to this plan and these can be found on the New Unity web site here.  Other resources:

• U+ Facebook group for mutual support and exploration in following U+
• U+ worksheet for your practice plans and commitments: PDF, RTF, ODT, DOCX

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What follows is an early version of a project that I have been working on with a dedicated member of my congregation. We have both noted in ourselves and others a desire for a more rigorous way of living as a Unitarian (or Unitarian Universalist). This is what we've come up with so far. We would love to hear your comments and suggestions. 

I do want to emphasize again and again that THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! If you don't want to do it, that's fine. Our hope is for it to be a strengthening and enlivening path that suits only a minority of people. That doesn't mean we don't want comments however. It means that we are not keen to ease this in a way where it becomes toothless and excessively vague - the very challenges it is meant to address!

Please note: I know that Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists will be tempted to modify this to suit themselves and/or their congregations. YPlou are, of course, free to do that. If you modify the programme, please do not use the name 'U+' for it. I ask this solely because I hope that a network of mutually supportive U+ groups might eventually emerge. This will be stymied if U+ is significantly different in different places. 

A worksheet is now available to facilitate your U+ practice. Click here.

Click here for the U+ followers and explorers Facebook mutual support group

U+

A rigorous Unitarian spiritual path

Preamble

Unitarianism is a faith that embraces a very broad range of people. The inclusiveness of our faith is one of its great strengths; there is a place for everyone of open heart and mind to find an appropriate path and to journey together, supported and loved in community

One of the concerns often heard in such diverse communities is that it can be hard to find a deeper, more rigorous path - that the diversity has a tendency to keep people at a broad but somewhat superficial level.

U+ is intended to address that specific concern and provide a deeper, more disciplined path for those who desire it.

As such, U+ is not for everyone! It is not expected to appeal to most Unitarians. It is for those who have surveyed the worlds of religion and spirituality and are prepared to make a more exacting way of living their faith.

U+ is not a club or a badge to be won. We envision that U+ groups might form in some congregations to support those on the U+ path. Networking between U+ groups would further support U+ followers. Individual groups may choose their own approaches to determining group membership; they may be open to all who wish to join or the group may choose to impose some kind of criteria for group membership based on adherence to U+ practices. In all cases, we would strongly urge that group membership involves a commitment to the practice and to one another.

The authors of this plan offer it freely to Unitarianism. We hope that it helps to provide a unique depth path within our faith’s rich diversity.

Teachings

1. Embrace life whole: The Sacred or Divine, the Precious and Profound, are made evident, not only in the extraordinary events of our lives, but in the simple and the everyday;  The best way to live is to strive to embrace life fully - engaging our spirits with all of the highs and lows life naturally brings
2. Potential for goodness: There is goodness in each of us. It can be helped to grow in communities of mutual love, acceptance, and support
3. There is no complete answer: The universe is too grand to be encompassed in any one perspective or truth. Freedom of belief and diversity of perspective are thus to be treasured and encouraged.
4. Seek relationship: Relationship between us and with other beings is our primary teacher of how to be fully human. Through the support and the challenges of communication and interchange, we grow toward our potential.
5. That which is sacred everywhere: The sacred in life is everywhere, including within each of us. It emerges in relationship and is most evident in our love. In striving to bring forth the sacred wherever it may be found, we serve all beings.
6. Wisdom is everywhere: Wisdom has been uncovered by many people in many different times and traditions. The wise person searches broadly and is open to many influences.
7. We are one: We are interconnected and interdependent beings - part of a greater unity of which we are usually unaware. We must seek an appreciation of our deep interdependence and relatedness.
8. Justice: We are obligated by our unity and our love to work for a more just world where each person has an opportunity to fulfill their potential.

Central Practices

1. Dietary responsibility: Adopt a just and compassionate diet.(1)
2. Responsible consumption: Adopt a just and compassionate approach to sourcing clothing, goods and resources.(2)
3. Reduce impact: Be kind to the earth and others by recycling, reducing waste, sharing and donating the goods we have
4. Generosity: Help the wider community

                 a.  donate generously to charitable causes (3)
                 b.  engage in social action or social justice, on an ongoing basis (4)

5. Community: Join a Unitarian congregation  
1. attend services and other events regularly
2. gIve generously of your time and talents to cultivate the community
3. financially support the community and its programmes
6. Serve your community: Take on service roles in your congregational community (5)
7. Care for your physical self: Adopt a wholesome lifestyle, avoiding substances and practices that would injure you or lessen your abilities and seeking those that strengthen.(6)
8. Exploration in relationship: Belong to (or lead) at least one ongoing congregational small group each year that gathers regularly for mutual support and spiritual growth
9. Individual exploration: Actively and deliberately examine your beliefs and values
1. Work on a course or programme such as ‘building your own theology’
2. Work on unpacking problematic ideas, angst, or frustrations individually, within a group.
10. Spiritual practice: Adopt one or more daily spiritual practices (7)
11. Annual renewal time: For two or more consecutive weeks each year live a more disciplined spiritual life, preferably with others in your community. This may include spiritual practices, charity work, and adhering to extra dietary restrictions.
12. Pilgrimage: Take on an immersive experience in the world at least once every five years. This may serve as a ‘pilgrimage’ to a ‘spiritual site.’ (8)

Footnotes:
(1) This practice, which calls us to make ethical decisions in the food we consume, may be observed in many ways. For some, it will involve a vegetarian, vegan, or pescatarian diet. For others, purchasing only ethically-sourced meat and other food may be a viable option. The range of options is very broad, including freeganism, fruitarian, etc.

(2) This means to avoid products that are produced through cruelty or exploitation or that are destructive of the environment. Examples of this practice would include using Fair-Trade and products and to avoid any products whose purchase encourages or supports worker exploitation

(3) We consider the Muslim requirement of giving 2.5% of accumulated net worth annually to be a fair and generally feasible goal. The objects of your giving should include your Unitarian community.

(4) As a guideline, try to devote at least 70 hours per year to social justice/social action work.

(5) There are many ways in which this practice may be carried out. For example, consider roles as recognised service readers, chalice lighters, storytellers, team-leader/members, hospitality, care-giving, and nurturing and mentoring others

(6) Moderation in drink and food are recommended. Other examples include avoiding smoking, drugs, and excessive sun exposure, and adopting a sensible programme of physical exercise.

(7) Spiritual disciplines are essential to spiritual and personal growth. Among the many ways to carry out this practice are meditation or prayer, mindfulness practices, and cultivating compassion. It is strongly recommended that time is set aside as a ‘protected’ space in the day for spiritual practice.

(8) Note that a ‘spiritual site’ need not be one recognised by others as ‘spiritual’ nor need it require a long physical journey to reach.

What business is your congregation in?

My background is in business. One important question for businesses - a question which, when answered unwisely, has meant the demise of many businesses - is this "What business are you in?"

In the US, there was once a massive and thriving ice business. The clever and industrious organizations in this industry harvest ice from fresh water sources in the winter and stored it until the warmer weather when it would be delivered to households around the US - and even overseas - where it would be used to keep food from spoiling in the heat. There was, of course, no mechanical refrigeration at the time.

When refrigeration was invented and began to be commercialized, it was not initially the smooth, quiet, reliable, and adjustable appliances we now know.

It was noisy. It was large. It was very expensive. It was easy for the ice producers to laugh it off as no threat.

Of course, refrigeration began to improve. And as refrigeration improved and become more competitive, the ice producers had to respond. They did so by finding ever better, more effective ways to harvest and store ice. They invented great equipment for transporting and cutting blocks of ice. They developed every more efficient ways of insulating the ice in storage.  They were certain of one thing - they were in the ICE BUSINESS and they needed to remain competitive.

Well, you know the end of this story. You are unlikely to run into someone at a cocktail party today who proudly announces "I am in the ice harvesting business." Refrigeration won.

The ice business was successful in continuing to improve what they did in the face of the threat from refrigeration. They failed to make a key shift however that could have made them business titans still today.

They concluded that they were in the ICE BUSINESS rather than the COOLING BUSINESS.

What business is your congregation in?

Many congregations would produce answers to this question that reflect what they do today - such things as sermons and hymns, committee meetings, church buildings, members, pledges, organ music. They have been so resistant to change that I can only guess that they firmly believe these ways of doing things to be their "business."

What business is your congregation in?

Is it not in the "life transformation" business? The "meaning-making and purpose-finding" business? The "gratitude-building, connection-revealing, justice-seeking" business?

If we come to these kinds of answers and we begin to think beyond our equivalent of the ice business, how then do we do things differently?

Look around your world. Who is doing your business well? They may be at early stages and still be noisy and inefficient, but this may be tomorrow's sleek stainless steel refrigerator!

What business is your congregation in?

The answer to that question and your response to it will determine the fate of your congregation.

A Unitarian Ten Commandments?

It was not the Biblical 10 commandments that got me thinking about this. In fact, I've always thought that a lot of the Bible's big 10 have become either so obvious or irrelevant or even offensive that they need a great deal of reinterpretation to be at all useful. (George Carlin's dissection of the 10 commandments is always worth revisiting!) A few thoughts on the 10:

• Honour your father and mother - how about honouring everyone? What about abusive parents?
• Have no other gods before me - that's what ALL the gods say!
• Do not take the lord's name in vain - oh, for god's sake...
• Do not make any images or likenesses - has been pretty well ignored from day one
• Do not swear falsely - this is not strictly about lying, only about lying when you swear in god's name...

But it has been discussion in the Introduction to World Religions class I've been leading that has made me think more seriously. In particular, it was the Buddhist take on ethical rules that struck me for it's clarity that the rules are intended for personal transformation. The fact that these come not as commandments from on high, but rather as a system for becoming enlightened raises the interest for me. (I am not saying that there is anything wrong with rules for living in society - I'm a big believer in the importance of laws!) 

This led to an attraction to the idea of a Unitarian set of ethical guidelines - something that the class has begun to discuss at least briefly.

A quick Google search showed me that Rev. Michael McGee of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington VA was way ahead of me with his 2010 sermon series on A Renewed Ten Commandments.

In my proposed list of commandments below, (ten, of course!) I have borrowed and adapted from McGee. I have also taken a cue from the theology of Henry Nelson Wieman, and taken a great deal from my own congregation's input in a recent service where we explored the ethical foundations of our actions in the world and participants wrote their own short suggestions for the underpinnings of their best action.

For discussion, I offer the following. They have not been inscribed in stone tablets. They have no miraculous origin except for the not inconsiderable miracle of the human mind and heart!

A Unitarian Ten Commandments

We will strive to:

1. understand the original experience of others
2. treat each person gently and with respect
3. take care of the earth and its creatures
4. speak the truth with honesty and respect
5. act with and work for justice
6. value meaning over materialism and life over things
7. cultivate appreciation for all of life’s gifts
8. give generously
9. cultivate joy and wonder
10. be slow to anger and quick to forgive

Metaphors matter

Human beings need images to think about complex things. We need to simplify and compare and picture in order to hold a multifaceted concept and we need these images even more if we are to successfully communicate such concepts to others.

Peter Bowden, a Unitarian Universalist congregational growth guru, recently started a fascinating thread in the UU Growth Lab on FaceBook by asking about metaphors for Unitarian/Unitarian Universalist congregations. The question is not about how to market our faith - it is much deeper than that. It asks about the essence of our congregations. What images most closely captures the central purpose and identities of the transformative communities of faith that we aim to create and sustain.

Over the years, I have heard many congregational metaphors tossed about: A "safe harbour" is a common one that emphasizes shelter and protection - a sense of withdrawal from a difficult world into a safe place. Certainly part of the answer, but only one part.

Abigail Van Buren famously proclaimed "A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints", capturing another important aspect of congregational life: we are not here to create congregations of perfect people; we must recognize that each of us is wounded and in need of healing and transformation. Only when we come together in our vulnerability and acceptance can we be transformed. 

Other congregational metaphors speak to our acceptance of diverse ways of thinking and believing: we are a "mosaic" of many colors, shapes and textures but come together to create something of great beauty - to create an image that we can not see in our separateness. We are a "house" where we understand that the light of the sacred is the same no matter which of many windows it shines through.

"Family" is a commonly raised metaphor, although we should always remember how hard it is to enter a family! Does anyone really want to be the new brother-in-law that nobody trusts for the first 20 or 30 years?

There were many other responses in the Growth Lab which I won't repeat here as they may be original and I have not asked permission. Suffice it to say that they variously reflect the experimental, educational, and energetic natures of a congregation.

How about this: The ideal congregation is "a base camp for life's expedition." 

I understand Unitarian congregation at their best to be places for rest and for equipping and organizing the journey to the heights of justice and spirit.

Yes, there are times when we are exhausted and hurt and maybe ill, and our congregations must be places for rest and restoration. They must be a places where we can tend to one another in pursuit of healing.

But a congregation must be much more than a refuge. It must be a place that prepares us for the true work of our lives - the mountains we must climb to become increasingly full and whole souls. These are mountains of self discovery - of spirit and love and depth. And they are mountains of outer work - the work that we do to help make our world a place that is more accepting, more compassionate, and more just.

Come into the base camp. Whether you are sore and tired and need of rest or fully ready for the climb. We will tend to one another's needs. We will journey together. With dedication, compassion, commitment, and love, we will ascend life's summits.

How crazy is that?

I received yet another notice today about a group where I can use past-life regression to explore my previous existences so I can better understand how to live well and happily in this life.

I declined the invitation. I'll work on one life at a time, thanks.

But while I do want to decline, I don't want to do so derisively - with a scornful laugh at "those foolish New-Agers." I find myself torn between having that dismissive reaction and wanting to keep myself open to all kinds of ways of thinking, believing, and practicing.

I am not surprised at all that the traditional religionists are ready to dismiss the New Agey stuff without a second thought. They don't have to wrestle with such questions. For them, it is either part of the accepted dogma or it is nonsense.

Now, let's recognise here that if anyone came to you with a modern day story of a god walking around the earth, getting executed as a criminal, and then coming back to life - and that believing the right stories will guarantee you a place in heaven - you would be at least as dismissive as many of the people who believe that story are of the healing power of crystals.

Just as the great age of a story should not make it more credible, neither should the newness or unfamiliarity of a story or belief make it incredible.

What is an open-minded Unitarian to do? By what standards are we to evaluate beliefs and practices, whether old or new?

Unitarianism has long placed a strong emphasis on the use of reason, but while this has been interpreted by many as a requirement that beliefs be scientifically and logically sound, this is neither historically accurate nor - I would argue - a spiritually helpful stance. Spirituality and religion are about having faith - about holding onto hope - about working for justice even when these positions are plainly irrational. We believe in love not because it is about to break out in the world and break in to our lives, but because we faithfully cling to our conviction that this is what the world needs and that we will do our part whether or not it is rational to do so.

In the UK, about five-fold more people say they are "spiritual but not religious" than attend any kind of traditional religious observances. Because they are exploring beyond the bounds of western tradition, some of us are ready to mock and dismiss them. If so, then we are the ones who will be relegated to history's vast dustbin.

The "spiritual but religious" are doing what human beings have always done - seeking new ways to make meaning in their lives. We ignore them at the risk of our own increasing irrelevance.

Let's return to the question I posed above: By what standards are we to evaluate beliefs and practices?

The standard must not be scientific. And even though there is some truth to the notion that better systems survive the test of time, there are some truly awful beliefs and practices that have done so.

I would begin by looking at the organisations promulgating a particular path. Have they made themselves wealthy? Do they use coercion to keep people "in the fold"? Do they condemn those who believe differently? If yes, then run - do not walk - in the opposite direction.

My test has more to do with how a belief or practice leads its adherents to live. If the path makes its followers more loving, more connected, more respectful, and more ready to seek justice for all beings, then I'm ready to take a closer look.

Past-life regression fails many of these tests, but I will not assume that everything new is bad. And that - quite simply - is a part of my faith.

A liberal congregation grows in London

For the past four and a half years, I have been fortunate enough to be the minister - first student and then fully fledged - of the Newington Green and Islington Unitarians in north London. Each year over those years, I've had the pleasure of marking and celebrating the growth of this rapidly-growing congregation. The time for that tallying is always at the beginning of the New Year, when we honour and celebrate those who became members of the congregation over the previous year. So, here we are again!

I was sure that this year our growth would finally slow down. A month ago, it looked like it would, but a late swell of new members meant that we grew faster than ever before! Four and a half years ago, there were thirty-five members. This year, we are welcoming twenty-eight new members. After adding in the new members and removing a few inactive members from the roles - we have decisively broken the one-hundred barrier and reached 106 members. This is a congregation where - when my predecessor began some ten years ago - the total membership was about one dozen.

Each year, as we grew, we have heard comments from outside the congregation that the growth can not and will not continue. We have heard that our success is simply due to being in a good location. And most sadly, we have heard that with growth like that, we must not be 'authentic Unitarians.' Fortunately, that latter view comes from a small minority of very discouraged people.

Well, the growth has certainly continued. If I'm not mistaken, we are now the second largest Unitarian congregation in England as measured by membership.

Why have we grown? And why is our membership so young (we are at least half young adults, despite the minister being a decidedly middle-aged adult!)

As always, explaining congregational growth is extremely difficult - it is the result of so many factors. Some are the things we're doing right and others are simply the traps we've managed not to fall into.

Here are the factors I think explain our growth:

• Our services are not bad... They could be a whole lot better (and they will be!) but they are good enough not to repel visitors!
• We handle conflict reasonably well - people don't sense a lot of anger or hostility when they come in
• We are visible in the world - with signs, articles in the local paper, our web site, Twitter, Facebook, etc. we make sure that people can find us easily.
• We know what we're here for. My predecessor laid the ground work and a clear mission has emerged of a justice-seeking congregation that welcomes, accepts, loves, and thereby heals. 
• We are not afraid. We've taken controversial stands on social justice issues and let the chips fall as they will.
• We have good lay leadership. Our committee members and other volunteers understand our mission and put that ahead of their personal preferences.
• We have focused on the people who need Unitarianism and are not yet among us. We strive to be conscious of their interests, tastes, needs, and ways of thinking. We have reached out to them with programming that addresses their life issues and interests.
• We set goals and then keep our eyes on them and work to meet them. 
• Continuous improvement - we never cease to ask how we could be doing something better
• We are not afraid to fail - we fail often and know that this is the cost of trying new things. Experimentation is good!

This is the best I can do at this point in time. I hope it is helpful to others. 

I would just ask us all to remember that it is not only religiously conservative congregations that can grow. If we reach out to the millions who share the open-minded, open-hearted, justice-seeking perspective of Unitarianism, we will experience dramatic growth, we will transform lives, and we will make a better, more tolerant, more justice, more peaceful, and more loving world.

Create a "Happiness Gap"

I am about to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and then to be with my mother as she goes undergoes and begins to recuperate from heart surgery. There is an interesting challenge in these coinciding events - Thanksgiving and a serious medical event. It is a challenge that is not unique, but representative of the way our lives all take shape.

Although the Thanksgiving holiday as it is celebrated in the US has lost much of its emphasis on gratitude, the practice of being appreciative and grateful is at the centre of what it means to live a fulfilled life. Every story can be told in at least two ways. “What terrible luck that my mother needs heart surgery. Why her? Woe is me!” And there is another story: “What wonderful luck that she has lived to the point she has and that there are wonderful hospitals near her and that surgical techniques have advanced so far and that she can afford to have state of the art medical treatment!”

The stories we tell ourselves and others determine whether we are experiencing lives of good fortune and blessing or lives of bad luck and torment.

I read an excellent book a while back with the title: “How to Want What You Have.” What a counter-intuitive notion that title represents! In a culture where we constantly seek to have everything we want and more, happiness is tied to having good things happen rather than appreciation of life as it is currently. There are even spiritual programmes based around getting what you want through chanting, prayer, or just having the right attitude. All of them are useless if not frankly dangerous because striving to get what you want reinforces and magnifies the ‘misery gap’ - the gap between what you think you should have and what you actually have.

A key to happiness is turning that attitude around - to learn to really want and appreciate what you already have. And if you can reach the point where what you have feels like even more than what you want, then you have created the ‘happiness gap’ - the feeling that you have been gifted and blessed beyond what you could have hoped and what you deserve. This is where profound happiness begins to appear.

We open the happiness gap by being consciously deeply and deliberately appreciative of what we already have - the views from our windows, the fact that we are alive, the abilities of our bodies, the people we meet, the new opportunities of every day... There are joys that each of us has by the millions.

I wish you a happy Thanksgiving, whether you celebrated it or not. With gift-giving holidays directly ahead of us, let’s not think about having what we want, but wanting what we have.

OMGOMN

In my efforts to be inclusive in worship, I often say (as do many other Unitarians) "God of many names" by way of including the many different conceptions of the divine we would hope to embrace.

My darling wife has now modified her use of OMG in texts, tweets, and instant messages.  The new, more inclusive version is OMGOMN!

Be Saviours to One Another

Can a diverse community support individuals as they travel their own spiritual path?

I’m talking to a young man at the Southbank – he’s sitting on the ground and is at least slightly intoxicated from the bottle of cheap wine that he and his friends are passing back and forth. On realizing that I’m a minister, he offers his opinion about religion. Everyone has an opinion about religion!

Let’s backtrack for a moment. Despite what you might be thinking, I promise that I did not set up a stand on the Southbank and preach to the crowds. Really. Even I’m not that enthusiastic. And I didn’t even bring up the topic of religion.

My conversation with this particular group of young people began when their dog took a romantic interest in my leg, if you know what I mean. They apologized and our conversation began. We talked about where we live… I mentioned I live above a church… and suddenly we’re onto religion.

His opinion: there ought to be a religion where everyone can have the freedom of their own beliefs! Amen! Great idea! Done!

It’s very satisfying to find that when someone imagines their ideal religion, they end up reinventing Unitarianism!

But you will probably not be surprised to hear that our very inclusive way of being religious also has its own challenges. Part of what makes traditional religion work – what has made it a consistent and often central part of human society for thousands of years – is a shared set of beliefs. In almost every other religion, there is a story, a book, a creed, a teaching to which all members subscribe. The word subscribe is important; they may not all believe in this central core of their religion, but they commit to it nonetheless. It is there for them as an answer and a guide.

If you are despairing, those core beliefs can provide comfort. If you are in conflict, the core beliefs can offer a resolution. If you seek meaning, the core beliefs tell you what your purpose should be. When you seek spiritual growth, the core beliefs describe the path must follow and the destination you are to seek.

Without a proscribed set of beliefs, a central story, a unique goal that each of us should seek, religion becomes a different matter altogether.

When one of us despairs, we don’t feel we can turn to easy answers: “God moves in mysterious ways” or “it is your accumulated Karma – hope for a better rebirth next time.”

The answer to “why am I here” is not as simple as “read chapter 9, verses 32 to 36”!

Religion offers meaning, purpose, guidance, and it offers salvation.

The word salvation might be the one word in that list that some of us find problematic. Salvation can be much broader than simply the Christian meaning with which we may be most familiar. Life involves struggle and suffering. We ask why we have had to confront such pain and such loss. We ask why we are here and struggle to find meaning behind the trials we face. Religion offers the salvation of an answer to these existential challenges.

What kind of salvation can our radically inclusive faith offer?

How can it offer guidance and meaning without a list of answers and set beliefs. How can it give us a sense of the nature of the sacred when we don’t profess to a single shared understanding?

Recently in one of our Bright Lights family events, we told the story “Swimmy”, by Leo Leonni. Swimmy is a little black fish who lives with a large happy community of orange fish. When his entire community is devoured by a fierce tuna, he is left alone to find his way. After a long journey and many adventures, he comes upon another large group of orange fish.

But this community of orange fish all hide in the shadows for fear of being eaten. Swimmy organizes them to swim together in the shape of one great huge orange fish with himself as its eye – as black as a muscle shell. The plan works – the big fierce tunas are scared away – and the whole community is saved.

It has always been one of my favourite stories – even before I was a Unitarian! And what a Unitarian story it is.

There are no easy answers, but together, with creativity, with cooperation, having journeyed, helping each other, in community, we can find our own kind of truth and our own salvation.

Note what I just said. We can find our own kind of truth and salvation in community. If you thought that Unitarianism was a low obligation, easy faith, you might be getting a bit uneasy as I am suggesting that each of us can, and indeed must bring a bit of truth and salvation to our communities – we must each be saviours for the other.

How?

This is the work of religious community. It is the work that, step by step, leads us toward the goal of a community where each of us feels safe enough to be fully ourselves – safe enough to take the chances that we must take in order to grow – safe enough to risk appearing foolish or ignorant – safe enough to cry together in despair and safe enough to shout for joy when the blessings of happiness come our way.

How can we be people who can create such a community? How can we offer this quality of safety to each other?

A person seeking this quality tells a bit of his story in “How can I help?” a book written by Ram Dass and Paul Gorman:

I've been chronically ill for twelve years. Stroke. Paralysis. That's what I'm dealing with now. I've gone to rehab program after rehab program. I may be one of the most rehabilitated people on the face of the earth... I've worked with a lot of people, and I've seen many types and attitudes. People try very hard to help me do my best on my own. They understand the importance of that self-sufficiency, and so do I. They're positive and optimistic. I admire them for their perseverance.

My body is broken, but they still work very hard with it. They're very dedicated. I have nothing but respect for them.

But I must say this: I have never, ever, met someone who sees me as a whole... Can you understand this? Can you? No one sees me and helps me see myself as being complete, as is. No one really sees how that's true, at the deepest level. Everything else is Band-Aids, you know.

What we want – what we each need – is to be seen as whole. We need to be recognized and accepted as we are – to know that we are enough as we are. Most of us, thankfully, are not horribly broken physically or mentally, and yet most of us carry the gnawing pain and worry of our flaws, our errors, the deeds and thoughts of which we are ashamed. Each of us feels to some extent that we must pretend to be something we are not in order to be acceptable – to be loveable.

A saving community is a place where we are safe enough to drop our armour and put aside our perfect masks. Paradoxically, to be accepted as we are is the first step toward becoming who we can be.

It both heals us and enables us to enter into our journey of growth. These two things, healing and growth are inextricably linked. Like a broken bone, we can not grow strong and true if we are broken.

When the dog who took such a liking to my leg made my introduction to a new group of friends, I was not entirely comfortable at first. They were drinking cheap wine in the middle of the day at The Southbank, after all. They were cooking and selling dubious sausages off of a charcoal fire in a foil pan on the pavement. They were trying, with little success, to sell some junky postcards.

How will you approach the next stranger you meet? What message will your presence convey?

We each have it in our power to offer to one another the saving power of acceptance. By recognizing the wholeness and sacredness in each other, we begin the work of creating the world we seek.

Each time we meet, we have the chance to help and heal. We need only open our hearts.

Simple stupid answers to hard questions

The world we live in is filled with complex and trying challenges. The questions we raise every day are hard - really hard - and we crave some simplicity. Someone is always ready to give (or more likely sell) you simple answers to all your problems and questions. Here are some of those appealing simplifications:

• Just choose things that are 'natural.' Anything natural and organic is good. 'Chemicals' are bad.
• He died because God had another purpose for him.
• If you believe the right story, all will be well.
• You are either gay, street, or bisexual. There is nothing in between.
• It was meant to be...
• Bad people will suffer later - life is fair.
• You got sick because you 'attracted' it with your bad attitude.
• Some people are good and others are evil.
• People are either black, white, or Asian.
• Never trust a ______ person. (fill in your favourite prejudice)
• Pick a card and I'll tell your future.
• It happened because you broke a mirror/walked under a ladder/spilled salt, etc.
• All your problems are due to those people.
• 800 cubic centimeters of silicone gel will make you happy.
• Oh, you're an Aquarius!  That explains it.
• Islam is bad.
• You just need to find the right girl/guy.
• Drink up mate!
• You need to pray more and God will fix it
• The Bible is literally true
• Just do what your guru/priest/minister/imam/rabbi says...

In some ways, Unitarianism is unattractive because it doesn't offer simple answers. Perhaps if we did, there would be many millions of Unitarians in the world rather than a few hundred thousand. 

I'm really curious about some of the other simple stupid answers to hard questions you've heard. Feel free to comment

The barriers to love

I am proud of Unitarianism/Unitarian Universalism.  The faith to which I have committed myself has been an activist, justice seeking movement. It has been at the forefront of the struggle for GLBT rights. We have seen our male-dominated ministry turn into a majority female one. We continue to struggle mightily to combat the causes of racism and are prepared to do the hardest work of all - to look within for the persistent seeds of that poisonous tree.

But, as the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) President Peter Morales describes as reported in the UUA World, the growing diversity of the leadership of even this remarkably open and accepting faith masks a deeper barrier to true diversity

When we look more closely at the change in our professional ministry, we see that the vast majority of women, gays, and lesbians admitted were middle class, well-educated people of European descent.

The barriers of race and sexual orientation, while challenging, are as nothing compared to the fortress-like walls presented by interconnected differences of culture, education, and social class.

The UUA can be justifiably proud that its two most recent leaders are not from white Anglo backgrounds. Morales is of Mexican descent. His predecessor, Bill Sinkford, is black. But these steps forward hide the fact that class and culture barriers remain intact. Morales again:

We have seen this in our nation with the election of Barack Obama and in our UU movement with the election of the Rev. William G. Sinkford and myself to the presidency. Each of us is less threatening to the dominant culture because we are the products of elite educations and have spent our lives in the dominant culture. If Barack Obama sounded like a poor urban African American he could not have been elected. If I sounded like San Antonio’s West Side barrio, I would not [be] president of our Association.

The barriers of race, gender, and sexual orientation are challenging - make no mistake about it. These differences activate strong hard-wired fears of difference. Those who look or love differently from us make us fearful and wary. But, with honest and courageous effort, we can enter into open dialogue. We begin to understand that they are like us - we have so much in common beneath the superficial differences.

But this moment of conversion happens because more basic, more essential, facilitators of dialogue are present - they are based on other similarities. If class and culture match, we have the tools we need to cut through other differences. Yet we have not connected simply on the basis of being human. We have connected because we share similar struggles, like similar writing, speak in similar vernacular, and have similar goals. We have a common 'language' to allow us to see beyond our differences.

It is when cultural and educational differences between people directly frustrates attempts and deep communication - when  common ground can not be found because we approach life with different stories, with deeply different perspectives based on educational background, and deeply different interests - that we fail to connect.

This is the continuing problem of our world. The divide between rich and poor grows larger in Britain and elsewhere and the divides are not necessarily around skin color, gender, or sexual orientation. The divides are based on class and culture which translate into the presence or absence of opportunity. This is a justice issue - perhaps the single greatest justice issue of the developed nations. As long as class and cultural differences continue to define who we can understand and who has a chance to get ahead, there will not be true equality.

But as Peter Morales adds, this is not so much a practical or political issue, but rather a deeper question of who we choose to be as human beings and to what vision we are dedicated:

This great challenge of culture and class is ultimately a religious, moral, and spiritual issue rather than a social justice issue. Perhaps the great challenge for us [...] is whether we can learn to understand, accept, include, and ultimately love our neighbors who are different from us.

The work is enormous and may never be completed. That is no reason not to begin it. The first step - as always - is the vision. Can we imagine a society where class advantages disappear? Can we imagine a society where our cultural background does not define our opportunities? I hope that we can commit to that kind of a future and begin the work today of trying to understand across the great barriers that would divide the human family.

Unitarian congregations membership

Warning! The numbers below may be very inaccurate! Very!


I needed to get that warning out of the way... I arrived at these membership numbers using the congregational quota contributions from the GA's 2009 Annual Report. I simply divided by £24 and rounded, as each chapel was meant to contribute £24 per member in 2009. Some chapels give more and some give less. Some chapels have  not cleaned out their membership list in a while. It happens... Life is messy.
Nonetheless, as the old management adage goes, "you can't manage what you can't measure." If we are trying to measure growth, we need to be able to measure it.
Admittedly, weekly attendance is a better, more reliable measure than membership, but you have to use what you've got.  So, here are the 2009 numbers!
If anyone would like to correct the numbers listed for their chapel, please feel free to post a comment.

Congregation	Members
Aberdare	23
Aberdeen	50
Ainsworth	17
Alltyblaca	3
Altrincham	50
Ashton-in-Makerfield	52
Atherton	59
Banbury	10
Bath	7
Bedfield	2
Belper	4
Billingshurst	7
Birmingham Edgbaston	48
Birmingham Hollywood	50
Blackpool	19
Bolton Bank Street	56
Bolton Chorley New Road	19
Bolton Egerton	29
Bolton Halliwell Road	15
Boston	9
Bournemouth	8
Bradford Russell Street	17
Bradford Unitarians	17
Bridgwater	5
Bridport	12
Brighton	38
Bristol Brunswick Square	14
Bristol Frenchay	19
Bury	81
Bury St Edmunds	22
Cambridge	49
Capel Ifan	0
Cardiff West Grove	18
Cefn Coed y Cymer	23
Cellan	2
Chatham	8
Chelmsford	10
Cheltenham	11
Chester	10
Chesterfield	4
Chorley	23
Ciliau Aeron	2
Cirencester	6
Coseley	7
Coventry	10
Cradley	24
Crewkerne	12
Cribyn	5
Croydon	49
Cullompton	6
Cwmsychbant	5
Cwrtnewydd	7
Dean Row	84
Denton	0
Derby	7
Ditchling	16
Doncaster	18
Douglas	6
Dover	5
Dudley	1
Dukinfield	50
Dundee	35
Eccles	64
Edinburgh	54
Enfield	16
Evesham	26
Felinfach	2
Framlingham	10
Glasgow	38
Gloucester	8
Godalming	34
Great Hucklow	19
Great Yarmouth	11
Hale Barns	29
Hastings	16
Hinckley	64
Hindley	12
Horsham	29
Horwich	6
Hull	27
Hyde	2
Hyde Flowery Field	8
Hyde Gee Cross	12
Ipswich	38
Kendal	47
Kidderminster	29
Knutsford	53
Lampeter	14
Leeds	30
Leicester	25
Lincoln	13
Liverpool Gateacre	19
Liverpool Sefton Park	28
Liverpool Toxteth	9
Llandysul	4
Llanwnnen	8
London Bethnal Green	0
London Brixton	0
London Golders Green	39
London Hampstead	163
London Islington/Newington Green	56
London Kensington	50
London Lewisham	13
London Stratford	5
Loughborough	2
Lytham St Annes	14
Macclesfield	42
Maidstone	7
Manchester Chorlton	10
Manchester Cross Street	26
Manchester Dob Lane	15
Manchester Gorton	14
Mansfield	48
Mossley	12
New Mill	6
Newcastle	22
Newcastle upon Tyne	21
Newport	7
Northampton	8
Norwich	34
Nottage	12
Nottingham	21
Oldbury	4
Oldham	10
Oxford	36
Padiham	50
Plymouth	22
Pontsian	5
Portsmouth	45
Prengwyn	6
Pudsey	12
Rawtenstall	8
Richmond	34
Rivington	19
Rochdale	54
Scarborough	13
Sevenoaks	26
Sheffield Fulwood	48
Sheffield Norfolk Street	56
Sheffield Stannington	24
Shrewsbury	25
Sidmouth	4
Southampton	16
Southend-on-Sea	3
Southport	10
Stalybridge	12
Stockport	8
Stockton-on-Tees	21
Stourbridge	7
Styal	24
Swansea	12
Talgarreg	8
Taunton	13
Tenterden	8
Torquay	9
Trebanos	19
Trowbridge	20
Urmston	46
Wakefield	17
Warrington	14
Warwick	18
Watford	11
Whitby	7
Whitefield	53
Wick	10
Wirral	19
Wolverhampton	2
Worthing	4
York	40